Whose life is it anyway?

Awww I hate getting up early… really need to get circadian rhytms in order again.

With 3 Mcdonald’s chicken nuggets, marmalade bread and a cup of chilled HL milk in my tummy, CJL sets off to the KL general hospital…

Driving!

With dad navigating, I took the wheels and made my way from the house, to Pudu, under a tunnel, through a highway, passed the national library, took a left turning at the roundabout near my primary school, and finally entered the hospital compound. whee~, apart from a little hiccup when crossing lanes and turning, everything else went like an automatic car.

Reached the hospital some moments before 9am. Registered and came out to wait. Just the fact that I’m surrounded by doctor aspirees excite me beyond compare. NON of my friends at school want to be doctors and I have a feeling I’d easily resonate with the people here.. after all, we have lots of stuff in common.

Sure enough, first guy I met was David from Miri, who is currently studying at Taylor’s. Later something unexpected happened, Ying Ling appeared! Who’s Ying Ling? Well, she’s my class monitor in standard 6! What a pleasant surprise indeed.. then another surprise.. Wah Chin who is also a primary school mate appeared! LOL, it’s almost unbelievable that 6 years ago we hardly know each other and today we’ve all been short listed by JPA to attend this program.. awesome!

So we chat and chat and chat some more.

A speech by the hospital director started the ball rolling for the program. But it was the deputy hospital director’s speech that really held any meaning. He gave quite an entertaining speech, which was accompanied by slide show displays of hospital life… It seems the ministry REALLY THINKS that these people here do not know that its not easy to become a doctor. Obviously its no easy feat, but having attended several education seminars, as well as listened and read of several first person account about a doctor’s life, I think I have AT LEAST a vague idea.. lolz

Dr Ghazali Hasni included some interesting facts in his presentation though. He reminded us that a person is only worthed about $38.50. This figure was apparently obtained by a scientist who calculated every element in the human body and calculated the sum of all the elements in accordance to market value. So according to the doctor, in order for a person to be of value, he needs to have well, values… good moral values and what not.

It seems that the KL hospital is 130 years old, and that doctors in Malaysia are always needed to work extra hard due to the shortage of local doctors. Considering the government’s target of 1 doctor for every 800 people is hardly achieved with the current ratio of 1 doctor to roughly 1400 people, this supports my theory that doctors or doctor wannabes in our country are indeed a rare breed.. lolz

According to the doctor, benefits of becoming a doctor include:

- Gauranteed job

- Regarded a leader and respected by society

- Financial Renumerations of various kinds

- As well as the availability of living quarters for doctors

Personally though, I’d say the benefits also include:

- opportunity to continuously learn and study about the human body as well as use the acquired knowledge for the benefit of society and self

- opportunity to help others, and have a hand at preserving, protecting, and promoting public health both physically and mentally

- opportunity to save lives

The second part would include the requirements of becoming a doctor:

- To perform duty beyond self, and not be choosey

- Caring towards patients and staff - meaning doctors must always make a 120% effort to love, emphatize, and symphatize with for example, a patient’s ailments

- Profesionality, being able to behave in a professional manner in work, meaning having good character, and preserving the dignity of a patient - confidentiality

- Ability to work as a team- doctors do not work alone, and more often than not, they’re the leaders in a medical procedure, so descent leadership abilities are most certainly in demand

- Able to work smart, and also be disciplined and systematic. Without of which a doctor will most certainly fail in balancing time for studies, career, and personal life.

- Like challenges - a doctor must be brave and be accountable for their actions, as well as to be consistent and responsible because any irresponsibility in practice would require them to answer to God.

- High self esteem and high emotional intelligence are also needed in order to work efficiently and effectively

- well attired and mannered will certainly be a plus in first impressions

- and last but not least, anyone who wants to be a doctor must LIKE being a doctor

Challenges of becoming a doctor

- need to burn midnight oil because of the significance of study materials on short notice - however don’t burn yourself

- upon graduation a newly qualified doctor will need to work extra hours as housemen in hospitals

- doctors are also exposed to hazardous environments, they can get sued in court, face the temperaments of the relatives of patients, contamination or infection by a deadly disease, etc

- doctors will also often be needed to work on short notice for long hours

- doctors won’t exactly become overnight millionaires

- there are risk and successes in private practices

- guarded family life

- limited social life

- and also of course, stress all the time, but with proper time management as well as anticipation of events, this factor could be easily combated.

Well, after the lecture we were also exposed to gory photos.. mm yum. next was the group splitting and lunch. this was the only time I snapped photos.. lolz

Mmmm some nice pots in the hospital

Here’s David and Ying Ling.. argh camera shy Ying Ling makes life difficult

Following David out of the hospital to yam char outside, wow a post office in a hospital… how convenient

Woo what a rare sight, a van FULL of nurses unloading their goods, er I mean, nurses.. lolz, good thing they didn’t chase after me later.. wahaha

Have you seen these people??? LoL… I snapped this catchy notice board in front of the hospital police station.. so dear readers if you see these people please remember to dial 999..

A nice scene outside the KL general hospital. Of course, I was sweating profusely while taking this picture, it was 1.30PM in KL!!

A shot at the sky, I just love experimenting with angles.. lolz

The hospital building marks its defiant protest against crooked cigarette butts…

JABATAN OTORINOLARINGOLOGI

LOOK VERY CLOSELY.. there’s a nurse chatting with her handphone under the blue roof behind some black color grills.. no that’s not hantu, she’s not even aware her picture’s been taken.. LOL

I had CHAR SIEW PAO for lunch. chat chat and chat some more, and then finally we returned and started our first exposure at our respective departments. Me being lucky was in group 2 along with Wah Chin. and our first stop was the forensic department… YAY for me, Gross out and vomit for Ying Ling.. lolz she got sent to some outpatient department.

First we were briefed about being a forensic pathologist by Dr Rohayu Bt Shahar Adnan, simply put, its a specialization by doctors in a field which assists the law, and put in even simpler terms, the doctor’s job is dissecting people, and performing post mortem after post mortem after post mortem…

There were some important facts in her presentation, among which was the fact that Malaysia had only 16 forensic pathologists! and we had the honor of having 1 in our presence! while CSI had like, 5? working together? LOL

Some of the work of a forensic pathologist

- Certify the death or identity of dead person, only the police have the authority to issue a death certificate, and autopsies involving criminal cases can only be carried out in public hospitals.

- Verify the time from death, this must be done carefully as the post mortem can only be done once

- Record and identify injuries on a dead body

- Identify if a sickness is the cause of death

- Give the cause of a death

- Make a summary about a death

A good deal of criminal law will also need to be studied by the forensic pathologist. Well, after some explanation on that, we were presented with several cases that were worked on by the Doctor. Some were accidents, some were homocide, suicide, natural death, and of course sometimes, unknown.. lolz it seems most of the people who appear on the slide show were drug addicts, as the doctor relates that normally drug addicts put tattoos on their bodies to hide the puncture marks of syringe needles… all of the cases were very sad sights… people who kill themselves and others in the most depressing manner, and succeeding at it… even worse are the dreadful accidents that occur, makes one realize juz how mortal we mere mortals really are… makes one realize that… forensic pathologists make excellent killers, because they know all the loopholes of the law and ways to bypass post mortem detections!

After that was done, we were treated to a rare visit into the operating theatre.. EWWWW… the smell of dead bodies at the morgue, remind me of the time I dissected my poor dead old goldfish… yuck.. the stench.. I had to give it a 8th storey drop burial… and yet the forensic pathologist WORKS with such stenches EVERYDAY… how they can tahan.. yes of course some of the scenes were very gory.. but as the doctor relates, we fear what we do not understand, once we understand the human body well, there really is nothing to fear.. or feel, except for sympathy towards an unfortunate victim, who was someone’s child, sibling, friend, parent, whose life was brutally snatched from the earth… and its up to the forensic pathologist to help bring justice to his death.

It was a really educational experience lar, I got to try first hand an equipment that was used to fracture skulls.. COOL… well, sort of, just got to turn it on and wave it around, and we were also shown the basic suit a doctor wears the operation too, which is 2 layers.. I think I was bugging the doctor with the most questions, Lolz.. good thing she enjoys answering them too!

Well, later we got our papers chopped and signed to prove we’ve been here, it sure was fun, I think all of us felt the same…

Ah… finally got home, got to drive again to dinner… oh yea, dad helped me collect the YPC prize from Pudu girl school. Seems that there were 40 straight A students receiving stuff.. what stuff you ask? well…

Certificate of achievement… 300 ringgit… some books… a meal voucher for 2 person at a fancy restaurant… and.. does the invitation letter count? lolz

Hmm.. need to do some research for day 2 of the hospital program..

I really enjoy reading blogs, and I certainly derive just as much pleasure writing one.

Little 3 year old sis is lying on my garfield themed bed while watching me type this. Poor thing has been sick for few days now, wouldn’t eat food nor medicine, terrible baby mood swings, kicking away (unsuccessfully) everyone who tries to approach her. Coughing and feverish.. dad remarked that my other sister and I had episodes of weary sicknesses too in babyhood. Maybe it runs in the family, well, since I’m not dead yet, I guess its good to go.

Kinda amusing though, as I observe mom practice her interpersonal skills with my baby sister. Resorting to bribing her with toys and shopping in order to get her to take medicine and milk, or even try to talk reason with the baby. Seriously, who uses logical reasoning to persuade a baby? Everyone knows ang guu guu and ang guu chiaK works better.. lolz.

Only dad and I seem to know that one needs to get on the baby’s good side before the baby will trust one enough to accept food and medication. Yet my mom continues to wonder why the baby prefers the company of guys in the household.. lolz. Yeah, my other sister only knows how to piss off the baby by eating ice cream in front of her and waking her up from her naps.

I received a letter from JPA few days back. Seems that I am required to go to the KL General Hospital to see people suffer. wow, music to my ears.. lalala.. I love to watch people suffer! Jk lar, I think the education  ministry has earned another feather on the hat for introducing this program for people who applied for the medical course from JPA. The objective it seems is to give a realistic perspective of a doctor’s life to those aspiring to become one.

I really look forward to it. Last time I went to the General hospital with dad to pick up grandma, I was hoping to get a glimpse of hospital life. Unfortunately since it was visiting hours aka doctor’s lunch time, I didn’t get to see any doctors in action. This time however it will be different.. yea! The program which spans 3 days, I believe will certainly be awesome. I hope to knows some new friends who aspire to be doctors too! Seriously, I don’t know anyone in particular who’s ambition is to serve the country as a doctor. Are doctor aspirees such a rare breed? Better get my digital camera charged.. take some pictures of suffering people and these rare breed of people who want to be doctors.. they’re endangered! (yea rite, juz wait till interview day) lolz

I need to go on a diet. I think I eat too much junk. Gotta go get a hair cut. Need to look sharp for the hospital program. Preparations for the JPA interview shall occupy my time… and I shall have fun preparing.

Haiz.. sick baby is so kesian.. back to melayan baby.

Thunder roared and fire blazed as my eyeballs fell off the SPM result slip, having rolled down a stream of As.

Yes, that certainly was one of the few flabbergasted moments that hit me this year. Can you imagine that initially I was hoping for bad results in order to motivate myself? Only recently has this reasoning fell on my head like a meteor - that I don’t need an SPM slap in the face to feel motivated.

You know, things often click into place when one least expects it. The torrent downloading skills I acquired from my 4th uncle proved to be yielding more than entertainment mingled with platitude. I recently downloaded a number of audio books, wonders of technology that enables one to ceaselessly absorb knowledge while resting the eyes. These books were most helpful, among them are books that teach Russian, books that improve Verbal skills, the complete audio book set of the Chronicles of Narnia, and my favorite, an audio book about motivation.

50 new insightful thoughts were received upon completion of listening to the audio book about motivation. The sequence and simplicity of the way the motivational materials were presented made paradigm changing quite easy.

Anyway, recently I have the motivation to run a little psychological experiment on doing tiny misdeeds. It seems that a certain degree of evil is needed in one’s life in order to balance the good, or is it? I happen to believe that everyone is not designed to be perfect, but rather the occasional tiny misdeeds seem to be able to give more meaning to the good one does. Coincidently, the Star newspaper in its heart and soul weekly article section today advocates nastiness, so let’s be nasty ladies and gentlemen.. wahaha.

Well. To believe that we’re either pure evil or pure good, is to see the world in black and white, let’s just accept that we as human beings are well, brown.. grey? lolz

As ironic as it sounds, it sometimes feels right to do the wrong thing. And that was this experiment’s result. Personally, I think making mistakes are all part and parcel of growing up be it physically or mentally. In a sense then, it is essential. Skipping it would be to jeapordize our own capacity to grow and mature. Like learning how to walk or ride a bike, it is unrealistic to expect an instant hop on mastery, instead, its better to fall down a few times and success would readily present itself.

Right now, my motivation comes from my desire to improve myself. For that I really have the people around me to thank, for you guys give me inspirations in ways beyond my wildest imaginations. Thank you.

I don’t need an SPM slap in the face, I just need to log on to friendster.

I see a gradual dawning of the light, and in light of my already in motion fingers I shall continue typing…

Yeah man! I missed the days of entering blog entries for quite a while now. I guess one could blame it on writer’s block, lack of inspiration, lack of fingers, lack of eyeballs, lack of brains.. and the list goes on.. and off.

Its nice to be chauffered around, its nice to have michi around, because she has a car. I recall the day we went ice skating at sunway pyramid. With michi unable to fetch, I did a little on9 research about the KTM rail paths as well as the general road map to the pyramids from subang jaya station. A little planning certainly goes a long way, I learnt that the hard way… by savoring the fruits of not planning.. wahaha.. anyway, we eventually managed to get to the pyramids, and were most enthusiastic to get on the ice. Once on the ice however, a part of me suddenly became enthusiastic to get OFF the ice. seriously though, the ice is slippery, and these Neanderthal shoes with butterknifes (ok lar blunt knifes) sticking out of them certainly aren’t making things any easier. Every micro second on the ice for me was filled with silent gasps and adrenalin surges all through the nervous system. I think this justifies ice skating as a form of extreme sport. Because it is extremely nerve wrenching trying not to fall, extremely uncomfortable on the legs, and extremely silly to look at. Yet despite all this, we spent 2 whole crazy hours wadding like meerkats on steroids carving our mark on the ice, which looks like an O.

Amazingly michi woke up and drove all the way here to join us. Later we had bowling and that was where I discovered that whoever created bowling longkangs must really hate me. Anyway the thing to note here is that I burnt about a hundred ringgit that day, and michi really came all out of the way to entertain us, take us to dinner and fetch us home to our doorstep.

On a side note, I participated in the public speaking workshop & competition organised by the star. That’s when I realized, how much I have rusted especially in the speech department. An eye opening experience it certainly was, getting to know many other people, and expanding perceptions…. as the competition date drew near, stress levels reached an all time high… my brain felt like a nuclear disaster, or a worn out clutch plate from too much engine roaring… ew.. burnt rubber… burnt brain… It was so stressful that for several days I just sat in front of my notebook, trying to evolve into creative… without success… without even bathing!… finally I decided to give up, 2 days b4 the competition… and with a sigh of relief I entered the bathroom and came out fresh enough for bed… having experienced several sleepness nights b4hand… this is perpetual bliss… the next morning however, I felt really bad about not competing.. can’t really explain why, so I decided to participate in the competition again, finishing my 2 speeches, memorizing them like crazy that day, and went for the competition the next in full light of grim loser’s scythe of prepare-for-trouble.. aikz… when the time finally came, I just breezed through without hope… as usual, made some new friends… and recently I realized that when doing impromptu speeches, the better method of figuring out what to say next is not to ponder on what to say next, but to reflect on what was the last sentece spat out of the mouth and try to wire something in the brain to it. With this method, one can easily blabber about anything for a very long time. On a side note, I really enjoyed listening to some really good speeches, vowing to be better next year, enjoyed the food prepared at the event, and signed up to watch the finals at eastin hotel.

I suddenly realized I like engineering. IN fact, as a child, I’ve always wanted to be an inventor, even joining a kiddy inventor’s club in primary school.. wahaha.. it was only recently that I discovered that engineering is the field to go if inventing is my piece of pie… so I decided to put it as my second choice next to medicine.. engineering… and being a day dreaming fan, I’ve recently conjured an idea of making neuron connections.. making connections between dreams and ambitions… like, if I like to be an actor and a doctor and a musician and an inventor, can’t I be a doctor who runs a special hospital full of musicians and has his own TV show entertaining, helping people as well as encouraging the connection of great ideas from great minds? wahaha.. a dream.. but if I’m not thinking about myself I’ll be thinking about inventions… companies… like, what will happen if INTEL decided to join forces with COLGATE? imagine the possibilities! of having computer interfaces in hygiene related stuff to ensure that our mouths are really clean and not just rotten with minty breath after brushing.. or what about ALTEC LANSING joining with LORENZO? imagine, cushions that play relaxing music… and speakers that add comfort, design, and style to any household… the possibilities are endless!!! ( Did I ever tell u I’m a star trek fan? wahahahaha)

13th March 2006

It is the day of infamy to some, end of the world to others, and SPM RESULT DAY TO MANY.

Or at the least, many people I know… wajaja

Anyway seriously, after the public speaking event, I’ve learnt that its not worth being stressful about anything. Whatever reality ditches as us, we should just accept it as it is, not try to justify it, rationalize it to prove our worth, or try to ask why me? It really is best to just accept… for until we have accepted correct data of a terrain, how well will we be able to traverse it? So in other words, I expected the gravest of result… I sort of hoped for it, because having never enjoyed bad results ALL MY LIFE… I think this is the kind of slap in the face that would really motivate me to work hard… but who would’ve guessed…

It was about 10.30am at school. Most of my friends are out at the local coffee shop, I didn’t feel like joining them because oh well, I prefer to spend some time with my ex-juniors. So sneakily I opened the hall piano and started running my fingers all over it, and such a sad tune it played that day… when suddenly my handphone rang… it was LEEKEE.

omgosh… I got straight A ar… lolz… totally did not expect… because well, as I have mentioned earlier, blablabla yada yada.. I was really quite the PATHETIC sight during the SPM examinations… panda eyes… super procrastination mode kicked into high gear in my brain… personal self esteem problems… studying alone in the canteen… at home I still have the tenacioty to play BEETHOVEN’s PATHETIC SONATA RONDO FINALE ALL OVER AND OVER AGAIN… if that’s not pathetic I don’t know what is… so yea.. that was my situation… life certainly is full of surprises… it seems only 2 people from my school got straight As… well, although many other schools do better, at least I did make a tiny school record… of being the smk cheras head prefect who scored 11As in spm… indeed something head prefects from my school rarely accomplish… well, that would be something for the juniors to chew on wouldn’t it… wajaja.

well, many people congratulated me after the results were announced… I realize that most of them don’t understand no matter how I tell them that I was expecting only 1 A-They think I’m being cocky.. oh well, since no one understands I eventually decided not to talk about the issue and just accept their good wishes…

Applying for scholarships can be pretty stressful.. gee, currently I"m only eyeing for JPA.. petronas and khazanah are crap.. second choice would be Universiti Malaya.. and third would be form 6… either way, the future is beginnning now.

I think that’s enough of reflections… today I went for my driving test… urgh the URGHness…

It seems that only a few people from my driving school are going for the test today.. started off with a LONG wait.. and then bukit… failed the first try.. YIKES… nervous nervous nervous.. badger badger badger badger badger.. mushroom mushroom.. ack ack ack… second try.. ALMOST FAIL, I stopped too early, then while tester wasn’t looking, quickly rammed the accelerator to go up a bit… LOL luckily tester was lenient… WAHAHA.. that passed without commotion… parking and 3 point no problem… and then.. it was THE LONG STUPID WAIT…. the worst part of it all was to be seated under a crowded shed, with people smoking all around you… choking you to death…after about 5 hours waiting… at about 4 o’ clock, I was finally summoned, and the next thing that happened was the most stupid driving test ever… the tester kept pestering me to be faster and faster… and once we were out in the main road, straightaway commanded me to make a U turn back to the driving institute….. it was just so… shocking… good thing I pass though, now I can drive around my house in circles.. whee~