Whose life is it anyway?

Well, if you’re expecting a post of lamentations about my sad, angsty, and pathetic state after being chewed n spit out by JPA and Petronas… well, you’re partly correct..

I must say that I was disappointed.. yet something deep inside told me that it was totally predictable… I know my weaknesses.. it was the interviews.. subconsciously i was dominating like there was no tomorrow.. giving speeches when there should’ve been healthy discussions, and my seemingly schizophrenic euphoric enthusiasm all too unfitting to an SPM top scorer.. oh well, these are just assumptions..

But why am I so disappointed?

And the it occured to me that I shouldn’t be.. =)

roughly 6 months ago.. during the end of the SPM examinations.. I said a silent prayer to God… I knew I didn’t do my best in SPM. I procrastinated, and so I asked God to give me bad results (believe it or not) as I believed it would teach me a lesson and motivate to work harder as well as slash procrastination. I also prayed.. to have at least 1 A in SPM. And also that may my results be good enough for me to enter form 6. And ultimately, God’s will be done.

The rest of the story is history. I got straight As, learnt a lot of stuff from career exposure stuff, made new friends, learnt many things from them, attended career camps, exposed to many exciting new ideas and possibilities, went to interviews, rejected by my best bet scholarships, accepted into MBS form 6, and currently left with 3 more days before holiday ends.

Come to think of it, it is really a miracle.

I asked for water, He gave me an ocean.

I asked for a lesson, and admission to form 6, and He gave me so much more. And as if to cheer me up or to let me know that I’m not that worthless, He caused me to be offered a place for the course of diploma in civil engineering at Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. Although I will kindly reject this offer. I am thankful.

Anyway, a little record of recent events. Went shopping for school uniforms today, shaved, got a hair cut, got my form 6 documents ready, washed my dusty white shoes, and submitted my appeal letter for 2006 JPA to MCA.

God willing, it will not be the last time I hear from JPA… I of course will do everything in my power to not repeat past mistakes.

It seems grandma has Alzheimer’s disease. That explains a lot. The mortal state. The fleeting. The fluttery.

Time for bed.. zzzz

I’m addicted to idleness, that’s what 5 months of holiday does to 18 year olds, then again it could juz b an environmental cause, or an unintentional malintentioned turn in steering the face of life’s bulwark…

How very very strange. Adeline’s honey laced testimonial is missing! oh no, a digitalised Malaysian Sunbear must’ve slashed its way into my friendster account and licked that testimonial off my testimonial board! bad bad bears.. i shall turn u into digital bear patties… wahaha

Hmmm …

Today nothing of great significance occured.. watched some dr. rumah.. did some exercise.. ate some stuff.. went to tandas… read 1 chapter of advanced music theory.. and it was then when it suddenly struck me, the realization so dramatic it could turn cod fish into diamonds, and cruella de vil into hellboy…

Man, time hates me, I realized that I was dirt bored forever.

Oh yea.. now I remember something memorable.. (er something memorable shouldn’t take that long to recall should it? contradictions..lol) today was the last classical guitar lesson I gave to Yen Fong. Yep, yours truly absorbs money in the process too. It is destined, form 6 encroaching, all unnecessary barnacles of holiday vanity must be severed from real life… so, I gave her an extra long lesson today.. which lasted about 2 hours… which also happened to be 5 minutes longer than average.. lolz

Yea everyone’s familiar with Konserto Terakhir..sob..sob, but in this Kelas Gitar Terakhir however, fortunately no one died…whee~ the final piece I taught was Fur Elise by Beethoven, arranged for Spanish Guitar. Finally, it is done.

I hope my time was invested well in my student. Well, godspeed to her in her musical journey.

I have a gut feeling that this week will qualify itself for my long term memory bank.. such a gut feeling is hard to ignore… This Wednesday… going to know my next destination of education… This Thursday… going to know if I am deserving… some time this month… going to know if my jokes were bad… by the end of this week… going to know if regret shall permeate from the phospholipid membrane of every cell in my body… when holiday ends… and adulthood demands attention…

Oh a side note, I know how hard it is for whoever it is to read my blog to understand it. I intentionally violated the pyramid principle of human comprehension, by simply being out of chronology… so lesson learnt for whoever willing to learn it, chronological articles are good for health.. and carrots are good for the nose.. izit?

I went jogging today… and I think I unscathed more dirt about the mystery of ..

The Runner’s High

I must admit, running is fun!.. strangely, I noticed that when I push my heart to the absolute I-don’t-care-you’re-in-pain-for-heaven’s-sake’-u’re-18 limit.. especially when running up steep slopes…I sensed a transcendance.. as if the body chemistry changed in an instant.. suddenly I felt that I couldn’t stop running, yea there was discomfort in my chest, but my arms and legs seem to move by themselves.. believe it or not, in the end, stopping the running was the hard part… is this runner’s high?

oh well, couldn’t hurt to go for a 2nd try.. lolz… as I was jogging, the only thing that echoed in my head was the music of Chariots of Fire… somehow, listening to this music in my head.. gives me refined strength.. in an inspirational yet strange way.. somehow.. inspiration seems to give… energy

Of course, another reason for me to jog is to improve my stamina.. for certain reasons.. ahahaha.. we’ll leave that for another day

I noticed that expressing the strengths of oneself is totally uncalled for.. aka bragging.. it is a good thing I guess… I guess if I’m a lion, I wouldn’t want to tell everyone in the savannah that I can digest animal meat.. or that I am cute and cuddly but I actually have sharp teeth and claws… lolz… and perhaps this aspect of human nature was acquired by thousands of years of evolution? and how does humility then comes into play… how was humility evolved? perhaps it was humble people who had the character strength to learn and adapt faster than the arrogant ones.. and thus the arrogant ones become mammoth food more often than the humble ones… and thus thousands of years later, we instinctively know that… being humble is good! its part of human nature… but does human nature really differ from the features of reptiles and mammals alike… that which we call, animal instinct?

People fear what they do not understand. To diminish the fear, they present it as crap so as to gain a self imposed sense of well being. Yep, one of yours truly’s crappy entries… wahahahaha

My last post was washed into the depths of cyber space [=.=]

nyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

God is testing me.

Either that or that post must have been too insulting.. =p.. wahaha

Anyway… redemption time!

the 27th of April.. ah.. whee~

Kevin and Zikri’s birthday fall together on this fateful day, so I decided to patch some endorphins into their long term memory bank. Well, since the free meal voucher to eat at D’Tandoor Menara KL for 2 person is still fluttering against the magnets that hold it onto my house’s refrigerator… and I don’t exactly have a girlfriend yet as an ingredient to the recipe of a romantic dinner @ lunch, I decided to treat my 2 buddies to a birthday lunch! But wait, isn’t it a free meal only for 2? well yea, yours truly will need to be generous to himself that day.. wakaka.

I came across Seng Tai’s blog. Old friend of mine, seems to have a lil complication with life. So I gave him a self-help book which will hopefully do magic in his head. 7 habits of highly effective people. I happened to have an extra copy.. lolz

Drove to school to fetch K and Z. Oh yea, and this is also the first time I am wielding the new toy my dad bought, a Creative 428 Divicam. Records video, audio, and can even transform into a camera or an MP3 player. 1GB SD card for memory. Lithium-Ion rechargeable battery, 4x digital zoom and 4 megapixels! I never asked dad to buy it, but dad knows a good deal at the PC fair when he sees one.. yay, with the acquisition of this gadget, I don’t think I need a new handphone anymore.. since I initially wanted a handphone becoz of the camera feature.. wahaha

Driving in KL is very interesting. So many cars, jumbo busses, nimble motorcycles and traffic lights can only spell ANGST for a FI driver. For me of course, its good driving experience. Getting lost is occasional, but wasting time is absolute.

Finally made it to KL tower, lunch was good, D’Tandoor serves Indian food, but it makes all the Mamaks around my residential area look like fertilizer. So the 3 of us experienced how it felt to eat like an Indian royal. the bronze cups psychologically play on our taste bud receptories, so that even plain water tasted heavenly… the colorful rice was of different plant origins… the curry, really much better than the one mom cooks! and the Tandoori chicken.. mmm, KFC would go bankrupt if it opened a shop next door.wahaha.. and for dessert, we even had this funny warm flour cake that looked like a peach, dipped in a bowl of warm honey… yumeth yumeth yum!

btw, that meal only licked $20 from my wallet.

and oh yea, something happened while we were eating..

a giant fly was buzzing around the food! wtf[ish]! so in a flash of lightning.. er, make that several flashes of lightning and clang clangs, I used the beautiful er.. plates? no.. more like artistic metal food containers to squish the fly.. and YAY

we squished the fly!

then later, when the waiter took the plates.. er I mean, artistic metal food containers away.. we noticed something white on the table..

MAGGOTS!!

LOL, I even caught this on camera… maggots in a high class restaurant.. the maggots were alive, their mother obviously squished.. squirming towards ZIKRI!! LOL.. no lar, they were instinctively squirming towards the end of the table where they will commit suicide by jumping off it.. or were they only doing that because they wanted to avoid the sunlight coming from the opposite side of the table? hmmmm… curiousity.. lolz

anyway, after the meal, we went up to KL tower, Malaysians get 50% discount. yay.. foreigners pay 100% more.. LoL

very pretty design, the chandeliers… the powerful KL tower lift wooshed up to the observation deck of the world’s 4th tallest communication tower in a matter of seconds… upon arrival, we were greeted by.. KL.. wow

after walking in circles.. and taking video and pictures…

onoz its around 6pm… KL super jam hour, so we lingered longer around the KL tower area… had a look at the famous 100 year old Jelutong tree.. I even took home some souvenirs… some of its bark and branches

Jelutong: Thou shalt take these branches and be gone! (shakes top canopy)

[some branches fall] [ouch]

Jelutong: take these branches as souvenirs and REMEMBER ME!!

Us: Ok!

wow, a talking tree… existence only not yet extinct in the cerebral cortex of yours truly.. wahaha

SMK Cheras annual carnival day fell on the 29th of April this year.. wanted to go early but.. my alarm clock was ignored.. lozl

what an interesting day, I bought $20 worth of coupons, didn’t win the lucky draw, got conned by a fishy interact club, but later won something back from them.. watched a movie.. listened to some ‘political updates’ from MALAr.. ate some stuff- domino pizza, spaggheti, bbq stuff, also had a root beer float, and ice blended (sort of) mocha… saw a card trick, entered the super dark ‘haunted house’, saw some old seniors, met some new juniors, saw some old pals, met teachers, didn’t know I was that famous in school, [LOL] I got some free rides and no one stops me from restricted areas.. lozl

kinda tired after that… was reminded of something sad.. a good friend was kind enough to listen =) yep, u know who u are, thanks! I was not kidding when I said that u’re the first person whom I actually accepted advise from. Good friends are hard to come by, lolz, listening to advises from idiots I once have done… morons who pretend to listen and give advices that they think are stuff I would like to hear from them, greasy flatteries… when consumed, how much heartache it causes.. that’s why for a period of time I never trusted anyone.

[note to self]

Speaking of flatteries, I’ve also learnt that its always best to be honest in relationships, even if a good friend annoys u.. its best to honestly and respectfully express the cause of that annoyance.. otherwise the other party will not know, and the person being annoyed will at much times need to turn into a pressure cooker.. Honesty IS the best policy, and experience is the best teacher, and of course… courage, resourcefulness, and initiative are the best applications for experience..

Scars… scars.. and more scars… I should be proud of them.. yep, yep.. diligence and change.. yep, yep.. thanks for reminding me.. u know who u are of coz =D

April closed with a bang? with mom’s birthday on the 30th.. dad bought all of us to Leisure Mall for a meal at Viet Nam kitchen… surprisingly it tasted better than the last time I went with Weng Sheng and Michi.

Labour day was yesterday!

Went to Kajang.. cousin’s boyfriend opening a car service shop… not bad, with ambition, determination, character and grit, it seems that the prospects of this shop is a bright one. went there for a free buffet lunch… lots of mom’s side relatives… I find it strange that I always feel awkward among relatives… especially those from mom’s side.. I often find it easier to talk to strangers than relatives.. lolz

Later we went to my cousin’s mom’s new house, aka mom’s sister’s new house, aka aunty’s new house… er, it was a corner lot double storey house.. ADJACENT a sewage treatment plant .. = =""" well, as the chinese often put it.. shit as wealth [see wei choi].. wahaha.. swt

Came home and watched naruto movie 2! Yep, I watch naruto but only once in a blue moon… nice movie.. most enjoyable and glad it didn’t waste my time.. OTAKUs must watch it! not an otaku yet? here, let me ‘infect’ u… www.narutofan.com XD

As time spreads its wing, oh look its already 3pm..

hmmmm today, woke up late as usual.. drove to the BTR sports center to book badminton courts for this Thursday.. anyone interested? LOL.. later went jogging at Tasik Permaisuri… its nice to jog there on a cloudy Teusday at around 10-11AM. Little are the amounts of humans present.. it was a lonely jog.. except the occasional old citizen panting away from the opposite direction… no one caught up from behind.. [they're old citizens mar] I guess the younger generations are working or studying… I read somewhere about a ‘high’ that runners get.. runner’s high is it? triggered by the release of endorphins.. so I tried to trigger mine too.. unfortunately, the pangs of my aching-never-jogged-since-forever heart obviously dimmed whatever endorphin was released… lolz and I yea.. naturally slowed down…

but jogging is really fun, I can FEEL myself becoming healthier.. no wonder that time I met a chinese traditional physician who prescribed a treatment of  jogging at 7 AM every morning for 10 minutes.. lol… perhaps I should do this every day =P.. excellent way to keep fit!

on a side note, I’ve modified the background music on my profile page once more… the first song is groovey, the second Irish, the 3rd funny, and the 4th …. sounds like S. H. E.’s bu xiang zhang da… lolz.. special thanks to CDQ for teaching me how to create m3u files!

The songs will not repeat, and the next song will begin once the last one is finished.. bass guitar rhytm of the first song is awesome.

well, that’s about it… 3.10 PM!!! hungeeeeryyy..