Why am I so disappointed for =)
Well, if you’re expecting a post of lamentations about my sad, angsty, and pathetic state after being chewed n spit out by JPA and Petronas… well, you’re partly correct..
I must say that I was disappointed.. yet something deep inside told me that it was totally predictable… I know my weaknesses.. it was the interviews.. subconsciously i was dominating like there was no tomorrow.. giving speeches when there should’ve been healthy discussions, and my seemingly schizophrenic euphoric enthusiasm all too unfitting to an SPM top scorer.. oh well, these are just assumptions..
But why am I so disappointed?
And the it occured to me that I shouldn’t be.. =)
roughly 6 months ago.. during the end of the SPM examinations.. I said a silent prayer to God… I knew I didn’t do my best in SPM. I procrastinated, and so I asked God to give me bad results (believe it or not) as I believed it would teach me a lesson and motivate to work harder as well as slash procrastination. I also prayed.. to have at least 1 A in SPM. And also that may my results be good enough for me to enter form 6. And ultimately, God’s will be done.
The rest of the story is history. I got straight As, learnt a lot of stuff from career exposure stuff, made new friends, learnt many things from them, attended career camps, exposed to many exciting new ideas and possibilities, went to interviews, rejected by my best bet scholarships, accepted into MBS form 6, and currently left with 3 more days before holiday ends.
Come to think of it, it is really a miracle.
I asked for water, He gave me an ocean.
I asked for a lesson, and admission to form 6, and He gave me so much more. And as if to cheer me up or to let me know that I’m not that worthless, He caused me to be offered a place for the course of diploma in civil engineering at Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. Although I will kindly reject this offer. I am thankful.
Anyway, a little record of recent events. Went shopping for school uniforms today, shaved, got a hair cut, got my form 6 documents ready, washed my dusty white shoes, and submitted my appeal letter for 2006 JPA to MCA.
God willing, it will not be the last time I hear from JPA… I of course will do everything in my power to not repeat past mistakes.
It seems grandma has Alzheimer’s disease. That explains a lot. The mortal state. The fleeting. The fluttery.
Time for bed.. zzzz
